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winter chill...
the patchwork quilt smells
of memories
Shloka Shankar
Photo by NJ
train pane mist
she rubs
on the other side
Ramesh Anand
Photo by Ahmad Masood, Reuters
grumble, grumble
in the winter quilt..
nagging
Issa
translated by David G. Lanoue
best,
Don
PS Click to learn how to contribute to Wednesday Haiku.
The first one I love. The other two, sorry, I simply cannot connect with them, that's not to say that they are not worthy of merit, just me speaking my own truth.
ReplyDeleteRachael, always glad to hear from you and that one connected. That's a .333 average and, in baseball, we'd be in the Hall of Fame.
ReplyDeleteRachael, I appreciate your honest comment.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the train pane mist haiku, this is my real experience from a train journey during the spring season. She rubbed the glass to wave bye when the train started but then realized that the mist is on the other side. I was sitting beside her.
Don, I really liked your take. Yes, 0.333 is a super good average in baseball. Probably, Only one player will have that average in a playing 9.
Thanks
Ramesh Anand
Seattle, USA.
Of course, each reader to her/his own but I, too, appreciate a bit of discussion of the poems, so I'll second your thanks to Rachael.
ReplyDeleteRamesh, what grabbed this particular reader about your poem was the suddenness of the moment, its revelation (of rubbing the wrong side of the window).
What this did for me was to also highlight the emotion that prompted the mist wiping reflex and what would have been also the disappointment at not being able to see the one from whom the poem is departing.
There is potential humor here, obviously, but it was the pathos that got me.
Cheers, Don